The year 2017 has been a strange year, more odd still than 2016 and that takes some doing. A reflection and a time for hope and aspiration.
The strength and the stability
Unbelievable. An election called to smash the opposition that wasn’t really opposing. The one resulting from the failure of Westminster to unite behind the Brexit vision despite the fact that the nation had apparently done so.
The shedding of a tear
Following the outcome of the snap election that was not going to happen. Announced to the One Show. Along with a conversation about which one of the multi-millionaire couple puts the bins out at their house. Well, maybe not talking specifically about that particular house.
James Chapman’s departure
The blight of a former member of Davis’ team doing the dirty on Twitter was evidence enough that all was not functioning well under the good captain at the DExEU. Amid Chapman’s tales of incompetence that were subsequently to pale into insignificance the most extraordinary rebuttal of his claims consisting of little more than “we all know dear old James was always a Remainer”. Rounded off by “well-wishers” enquiring as to the state of James’ mental health.
Dr Fox and his easiest ever negotiation
The Doctor might like to ask the former territorial SAS man about that one.
The chlorinated chicken
The former territorial SAS man might like to ask the disgraced former Defence Secretary now turned cabinet minister about that one. Here he is…
The enemies of the people
Well, Olympic fencing is pretty offensive, isn’t it?
A jobs-first Brexit
You are joking Jeremy, seriously?
We want you to stay
Faced with an exodus of skilled workers ideas mooted for employers to have to have logs of foreign workers to prove their patriotism soon gave way to these sort of desperate pleas from the Prime Minister.
From Boston, Grimsby, Frinton, Clacton, Hastings, Ramsgate and tonight, joining David Dimbleby from Barnsley…
Of course we all know that currencies can go up and down
Really, Steph McGovern and your enlightening BBC Breakfast Butty Van crew? They went on a tour of Great British businesses. Around the Great British countryside. Or the Great British Seaside. Because Great Britain’s Great, hell yeah. When can we expect sterling to recover to its pre-referendum levels then Steph after this 18-month “blip” or “trading correction”?
The timetable for “negotiations”
Is that the timetable which insisted on certain matters being resolved before trade talks could commence? The one that Davis would never agree to but which subsequently governed these “negotiations”?
The red lines
Well, they’re yellowy-orange, maybe.
The Northamptonshire Triumvirate
Bone, Hollobone and Pursglove. Pursbone? Holloglove?
Well, he’s “very French” according to our former Tate & Lyle enforcer (and good at timetabling it seems).
The Trump trade deal
What are Gove and Farage doing in New York? Why is Murdoch there? Should Gove be sacked? Better ask Dacre over lunch before being too hasty. His wife works there.
Quentin Letts’ Tweet
Let’s have more of the Gandhi and less of the Johnson to extract the nation from a predicament in which he compared our departure from the “shackles” of Brussels to that of Indian independence. “Come on Boris, the light’s fading and the number of overs is limited, old boy.”
Wouldn’t pay a farthing (he’s never spent one, mind) and knows the literal meaning of a shambles as well as seeing the metaphorical entity every day at work.
The lack of papers (1)
On the table in Brussels. Not even for show. Everything’s all in Davis’ head. He doesn’t have to be especially clever to do his job, eh Dr Fox? It is, after all, a doddle, like you said.
The lack of papers (2)
Automotive sector? “No”. All of them. No, to all of them. The ones in painstaking detail that you need not know about because they are too painstaking in their detail. Chill out and trust me.
The Florence speech
I have come to the city of Machiavelli to restore some trust in our position…
An environmental Brexit
Green Giant Gove looking as comfortable as Mr Ben emerging from the shop on Acacia Avenue.
The payment to Northern Ireland
Are you seriously suggesting that the Prime Minister of a country like the United Kingdom would agree to pay taxpayers’ money to another political party having an influence in one region only to form a national government?
The Northern Ireland Border Issue
Brexit Means Brexit but maybe not Brexit as much in that part of the United Kingdom. Sort it out with ANPR or that massive airship from Cardington, near Bedford. (Ed: it recently crashed didn’t it?).
2018 will be a year for Britons to be proud
All must hope so Prime Minister. How might that happen?