A matzoh ball of a situation

A matzah ball, or a matso ball? Even a matzoh ball. It seems that many Jewish culinary enthusiasts cannot agree.

Unlike Brexit of course, the spelling of which is possibly the only issue surrounding “it” upon which a general consensus lies.

What is a matzoh ball?

Hard Brexit, soft Brexit; red, white and blue Brexit?

A matzoh ball is a dumpling typically seen in Jewish Eastern European chicken soups. It is typically made from a mixture of ingredients squashed together; a bread element, some chicken or other fat, water and seasoning.

Loss of sovereignty, immigration, laws, bureaucrats, taking back control.

When formed and splashed in the simmering-temperature clear chicken soup the Matzoh ball cannot be rectified. The die is cast. A bit like a soufflé.

“The Treaties shall cease to apply to the State in question from the date of entry into force of the withdrawal agreement or, failing that, two years after the notification…(under Article 50, Treaty of Lisbon)”

As witches being drowned (or occasionally spared) at the behest of the Witchfinder General the matzoh balls are either “floaters” or “sinkers” after a certain time in the boiling broth. Success or failure is judged thus.

Jerry Seinfeld is no stranger to the matzoh ball, and French linguist Sylvia Rochonnat sought advice as to the meaning of a Seinfeld-delivered “matzoh” gag from a script:-

George: Anyway, I’m thinking of making a big move.
Jerry: What?
George: I might tell her that I love her.
Jerry: Oh, my!
George: I came this close last night, and then I just sort of chickened out.
Jerry: Well, that’s a big move, Georgie boy. Are you confident in the “I love you” return?
George: Fifty-fifty.
Jerry: Because if you don’t get that return, that’s a pretty big matzoh ball hanging out there

Seinfeld aficionados may recall this scene and attempts by online linguists were been made to assist Sylvia to define and explain Jerry’s reference to a matzoh ball.

“…if she doesn’t say “I love you” in return there would be significant, awkward complications for future communication between them”¹·¹

…the UK seeks a “deep and special partnership”

“…this is a pun on ‘balls’, i.e. if George has misread his friend’s feelings towards him, it will be a great source of embarrassment to bare his soul & declare his love to her”¹·²

only 18% of people in nine countries surveyed compared with 49% of people in Britain believed that the European Commission should aim to keep the UK as close as possible https://www.chathamhouse.org/publication/future-europe-comparing-public-and-elite-attitudes

“…you’re at risk of getting seriously hurt emotionally”¹·³

Where are those impact studies?

“…it also plays on the image of a ball game (i.e. throwing a ball back and forth). So if you are throwing a ball, and it’s not thrown back to you, you feel pretty bad for having thrown it in the first place”²·¹

“The ball is in your court” May tells EU

The European Commission has said the Brexit “ball is entirely in the UK’s court” as the next round of formal negotiations kicks off in Brussels today∗¹

“…it’s a lot of dough (money) at risk/you could be left holding the bag”²·²

“I would say we are far from having reached the necessary financial commitments before we can open phase two, we are not halfway there.”∗²

With thanks to Jerry Seinfeld, it looks there’s a pretty big matzoh ball hanging out of somebody’s pants.


Sources and credits:-
¹·¹ Bruce Popp, USA 04/08/05, ProZ.com

¹·² Flo in London 04/08/05, ProZ.com

¹·³ Conor McAuley, France 04/08/05, ProZ.com

²·¹ Carolingua, USA 07/08/05, ProZ.com

²·² writeaway, USA 04/08/05, ProZ.com

∗¹Financial Times 09/10/17

∗²Emmanuel Macron 20/10/17